Jake And Friends
Jake And Friends
Episode 55 - Raising a Godly Family With Rusty Milton & Steven Salter
Guests Rusty Milton and Steven Salter join the fellas to talk about their successes and struggles raising a Godly family. Rusty is the Senior Pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Dothan, AL and Steven is the Executive Director at First Presbyterian Church in Dothan.
Both share amazing insight and wisdom and we are extremely thankful for their willingness to be vulnerable.
You have to wear your hat backwards when you're, when you're doing something. I put my hat on backwards and now I said, are you trying to look cool? And I was like, well, like I, I have to now because, uh, like people are gonna see me. I was like, I don't need to look like, I, like I don't care about this. So
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah, you used to, when you didn't have YouTube, you just could just roll with it. It didn't really matter what you look like. Now. It's on YouTube. Everybody sees you
Track 1:Yeah, don't have pants
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:10, the 10 viewers.
Track 1:not gonna show that. Well, uh, well welcome back to another episode of Jake and Friends. Today we've got, uh, Reverend Rusty Milton, who is the senior pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Dothan, Alabama. And we've got Steven Salter, who's the executive director at, uh, first pre First Pres Church in Dothan, Alabama as well. So thank you guys, uh, for joining us today. Um, how's it going?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Thank you, Jake and Parker. Glad to be here. Thank y'all. Absolutely.
Track 1:Um, so tell me whose house are you sitting in,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:we, we don't have a hat on backwards. I hope That's okay. Neither of us have a hat on backwards, nor do we have a hat on now. If things get crazy as we go and rusty slides his hat on backwards, that's when you know he's taking it up a notch. That's when
Track 1:Yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Mm-Hmm.
Track 1:Uh, so Rusty, you're from Auburn originally, is that right?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah, I did. That's right.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:We're Eagle.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:a professor at Auburn, grew up there. War Eagle guys.
Track 1:Yeah. Steven took his Auburn hat off, by the way, which I'm a little disappointed
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:telling everybody a secret Smitty.
Track 1:it? How is that your secret
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Well, he took it off before, but now he is taking it. There it is. Yes. There it is.
Track 1:You know, we don't interview ERs on this podcast. No, I'm just kidding. I have before, um, But anyway. So did you enjoy growing up in Auburn or were you just like, yeah, I live here, like,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah, no, Auburn was great, but it was a small, it was a small town when I was there,
Track 1:yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:and it, I mean, it was a lot of fun. My, the school bus would drop me off at the vet school, which is what my dad taught, and I'd go scrub in. They'd let me scrub in and, and watch surgeries all day, and then he'd take me home. And so it was, it was a lot of fun. I mean, Auburn's a fun place, especially in the late seventies, early eighties kind of small village.
Track 1:Yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:We're losing, losing Doug Barfield. We were losing a lot of football games, but it was still, it was a great place.
Track 1:You had the vet
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:it's changed so much since then. Like the whole campus has changed. Like even Auburn High School, like that whole area has changed so much.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:It's crazy, isn't it?
Track 1:Yeah, my, uh, so I, I don't know if this would be a small world story of the day or not, but my, I married a girl whose grandfather was a vet. Um, he's since passed away. Um, his son was a vet, or sorry, is a vet still. His son is a vet. So there's three generations of vets in Troy, Alabama. And then my wife's, uh, brother is a vet, and then he married a vet. And then my wife's sister married a vet. So there are, uh, six total,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:This is deep
Track 1:six total vets in that family. And like going home for Christmas, like especially when they first started out, their career was like the most. Like, I don't, I don't, you know, the moment where you're like, I don't, I don't have no idea what we're talking about. Like I'm just gonna sit here and just like nod my head as you're talking about
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:so yeah, totally.
Track 1:parts of animals', bodies. Yeah. They're like talking about, you know, congenital neviss and just like random
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:right.
Track 1:stuff and I'm just like, oh man. I was like, I
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Bring a good, bring a good book,
Track 1:It's like,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:with them.
Track 1:yeah, I can't, I'm an accountant. So that's as cool as that gets. Um, so how did you get into, uh, the, uh, mission field? Or I guess I shouldn't say mission field? Uh, yeah. How'd you get into the mission field?'cause I cheated and looked at your bio.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Okay.
Track 1:So
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:You got the cheat sheet?
Track 1:Yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah, I remember. Walk you through it. Okay. So, so I went to, I went to University of Monte, Val. I wanted to do something different growing up in Auburn and girl guy ratio six to one at Montevallo. That's a guy, a guy with my kind of face. That's what you need. And so we went, my brother and I both went to Montevallo and, and, um, we, we loved it. We heard the gospel from a guy named Neil Vincent. And, uh, I was converted when I was 20 at Montevallo and my brother a couple years in front of me. And Neil discipled me for four years there and spent a lot of time and then spent. After that, spent 10 years overseas, uh, sometime in Asia and, and in New Zealand. And so, um, so now we're, we're back in the States and we're in Dothan and loving it.
Track 1:Which was your favorite overseas part? New Zealand or the Asian part.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah. New, new Zealand's an incredible place and it's, it's extremely post-Christian,
Track 1:Okay.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:so, you know, yeah. If, if Alabama is the belt buckle for the Bible belt, New Zealand is the belt buckle for humanistic secularism, you know? Um, and so it's, it's, it's great. And I, I love that. And I, church had about 27 nationalities in it, which is, I mean, which is glorious. It is wild. And just worshiping with Egyptians and Saudi Arabians and, you know, people from different countries in Africa, it is, it was awesome. It was hard to leave. Um.
Track 1:it sounds like they're very receptive to hearing the gospel then, since they're like almost, you know, like, tell me like, I don't, I know nothing. Or maybe No nothing.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:the internationals, yeah, the internationals were much more receptive than the, the native New Zealanders. But I'll say this, the New Zealand church is very, it's small, but it's, um, you, you've gotta be serious about your faith to be a believer. And so for them in New Zealand, so, so for them Sunday morning is it's like coming to the, well, you know, they don't miss Sunday morning worship'cause they're so isolated. They all week. And so when they come in, it's a big deal. And then you have a, a morning tea, which is, you know, kind of like, uh, biscuits and coffee afterwards. And people would just hang out for hours and just fellowship. I mean, it is, it's a glorious thing. It's a wonderful time of fellowship. It's not something to just I don't feel like going today. You don't, you don't see a ton of
Track 1:Yeah. That's awesome. Um, so Steven wa walk me through your story. Did you, did you also, were you also involved with campus outreach?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah, I was, uh, I, I became a Christian. Um, I was at Troy, Troy University and, uh, I'll give you the short version, but I was ready to leave my home, which was fairly religious
Track 1:Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:and go have a great time and really just let it all hang out at, at, at college. So I walk in my first day in my dorm room and I meet my roommate and um, and this a big old dude. He's like six four. I mean, just a, he's the captain of the baseball team. I didn't know that at the time. And so he's like, Hey, my name's bk and I just wanna let you know that I'm a Christian. And I was like, great I was I was so mad college. I know out of all the people I could have roomed with, I was thinking, I'm gonna room with a dude who loves to party. Like, Hey, I'm Steven and I love to party. Hey, my name's Chad and I love to party. Yeah. Married too, but it didn't work out like that, you know? Yeah. This guy was the first guy I meet and he is like, and by the way, I'm a Christian, like in the first sentence, and I'm like,
Track 1:Yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:And um, anyway, that guy spent a bazillion hours with me. I mean, we lived together, so obviously he, he shared his life with me in many, many ways. Uh, just modeling the gospel in front of me. And so basically one day I was like, this guy calls himself a Christian. I call myself a Christian, but we have two very different lives. of us is not a Christian. I'm pretty sure it's me, And so, um, I began to realize that, you know, Jesus wasn't the king of my life. And what that means to the for, for Christ to reign over your life and be your king. Um, not just one who saves you from, you know, an eternal hell. The, how those things fit together. And so anyway, that's where my journey began. And, and, and, um, campus outreach was a big part of that. Um, Mm-Hmm. And, um, my wife and I actually went on staff with campus outreach for a little while, just for about a year. And we, since we spent some time overseas as well in Asia, um, before we started having kids and came back to the States to do some different things.
Track 1:Yeah. Uh, did you live in Alumni Hall? Is that where you money?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:I did live in alumni Hall.
Track 1:Did you know? They tore it down and now it's, there's a brand new hall there. I can't remember what it's called, but it's much
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:amazing.
Track 1:It's much nicer,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:it's glorious. yeah. it's glorious. One thing I was gonna fill in a blank real quick on Rusty's story,'cause he won't tell you all these things, but, um, the guy who discipled him, Neil Vincent,
Track 1:Uh,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Neil's gone on to to to Glory and at home with the Lord now. But, uh, Neil was a football player at Auburn and uh, was there when Bo Jackson was there and he was from Slocum, Alabama. And he was just a beast of a dude.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Oh, that's awesome.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:he was just a great guy. And I don't know that we've ever met a guy quite like Neil, who really just gave his life away all the time, just investing in people. Uh, Neil never talked about himself, always talked about others, but I. Anyway, one of the cool stories was, uh, Neil, the guy that discipled Rusty, was a tackling dummy for Bo Jackson. So he has a lot of good Bo Jackson stories,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:That's really cool.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:neck problems too. Yeah, That's
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah, so.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:then Rusty a side note, well, rusty, is he, he, um, one last thing I'll say is that, um, you know, rusty after seminary, I think his, your prime desire was to be a missionary. Mm-Hmm. Um, yeah. And um, so that's why you went into Mongolia? Yeah. And spent time overseas. Um, but I think a lot of his professors saw him preaching and said to him, as a young man, I think you have a gift preaching. And I agree with that. So I'm glad, but he probably would prefer to still be in New Zealand or Asia on many, many days. But, uh, I'm glad he is here. So.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:So the.
Track 1:yeah,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:A side story here for all of our, I guess listeners probably wondering like, how in the world do we get connected with you guys? So, um, Steven is married to my first cousin, one of my first cousins, Lindsey. Um, and what's really funny is that Steven, um, saw me and Jake kind of grow up at his time in Troy. Um, so Steven has seen sides of me and Smitty, um, that others have not seen before. Um, and I don't even remember how old I was, but Steven used to, Steven and Lindsay used to pick me up from school. I do remember like your, I think we talked about this at Thanksgiving, but it was like your green, uh, was it a Corvette or something?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:The green Camaro Ro 1995 Chevy Camaro
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Man, I remember getting in that thing and you like having to get in there. We had to let the front seat go forward, had to climb in the back and hurry up really fast. And you'd shut that thing and Blake would shove me in the back and he would get in the front and we'd roll out of there and think we're so cool. But I, uh, yes, Steven,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:that thing was the worst.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:uh, man, but I remember riding that thing, man. It was awesome. But that's how we got, got, got connected with these two guys. So I wanna
Track 1:Yeah. I And, and Steven, I remember you looking probably almost the same as you look now in my mind. You were 40 years old then. You know what I mean? And like, because like I had no idea how old you were. I was just
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:makes you feel good.
Track 1:40-year-old. I was like, here's, here's Parker's 40-year-old cousin who came to hang out. I don't know why.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah.
Track 1:It's like, dude, dude needs to get a job. He is that old, you know?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:That dude is 40. Picking us up from school.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:man, they were doing, they were doing my parents a favor, picking us up. Going to Charles Chuck High. And Chuck Middle. And picking us up, man. Doing us a favor.
Track 1:Oh dude. Yeah. Um,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:that those were good old days and yeah, that, that is a good connection. I do remember both of you guys, obviously Parker, but I do remember Jake as well. Smitty.
Track 1:It was better than my, I mean, you had a better situation than I did my sister. So I was, I'm six foot five and you can't tell that now, obviously, but, uh, when I was 12, I was six foot three. And so like, I've just kind of always been this tall. And when my sister was 16, she had a, uh, gray. Volkswagen Bug, you know, like when bugs got cool again, and so like, she got one of the newer models and like the backseat was, is like an S 10 almost like, you know, like you didn't have to sit sideways. But I had to sit sideways because like my leg, you could scoot the seat up as far as you want, but your legs can't straighten out. And my sister, even when nobody was in the car, made me ride in the back because she didn't want to be seen with me. And so I don't, I don't have fond memories of that, but then she wrecked it. So like I got outta that one, you know?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Let me tell you one last quick story about this guy that's really funny, uh, back to college. So, um, I had a buddy at Troy. He was a big backpacker. He loved to go backpacking. So him and some earthy buddies got together and they're like, we're gonna go on a long road trip. And so they hit their road trip, but they break down on the interstate and they're like, well man, the closest thing to us is Montevallo. And they're like, well, let's, let's, let's go to Montevallo. We'll look for somebody who can, who can help us. So they get to campus and they're like, and their buddies are like, all right, so who do we look for here? And this guy said, you just look for anybody that you think likes to backpack and hike Like, okay, do that. Right? so my buddy says that he is walking in the parking lot and he sees this as Susu Trooper. And in the back of the trooper is a fly ride and a backpack. And my buddy's like, heck yes, I'm gonna wait right here by this trooper and see who this is. And so my buddy's like, before you know it, I look up and there's this little redhead dude just bopping along in campus, like bopping down the, the trail. And he is like, Hey buddy, is this your car? And he is like, yep, it sure is. And so that was Rusty And, um, rusty let these guys sleep in his dorm room or his apartment or something until they could get their car fixed. And then I think they actually went, yeah, went hiking and went fishing or did something. But anyway, rusty is a bit of a backpacker his whole life and, uh, in New Zealand, he still, uh, has great stories of backpacking and fly fishing and uh, all those kinds of things. So
Track 1:That's really,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:a wild man at heart. Yeah. All those Troy dudes crashed in my dorm room for a few days.
Track 1:were they all farmhouses?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:I don't know, they're all camps, outreach guys.
Track 1:Was farmhouse a thing then?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:a. It was just getting started. I, I think, um, some of these guys were Sigma Kai guys and some were just
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hey, Jake, your brother and Jake, your.
Track 1:My brothers now. I met some cool guys. Anyway, so
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:In ho s win case, buddy. No, that's just it, man. I enjoyed that was my first real meeting with Troy guys. It was good. Yeah. That's a good, good dudes. That's a good way to start it with Troy guys. Uhhuh.
Track 1:cool.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:right.
Track 1:Um, well, so we'll get into kinda why we invited you. I mean, if, if, if people, if some people don't listen, don't read the title of the episode before they listen, they're probably like, where are we fixing to go? But, uh, Parker and I, you know, have been doing this Biblical Man series, I guess I, I called it a series. We just like talked about it, uh, about a month ago, and we're like, we feel like this is like where we should hang out for a while. And so, uh, we just, Parker reached out to you, Steven, and talked, just see if we could talk about like being a godly man and what it means to like, raise a Godly family because you know, Parker and I have, uh, I guess my oldest, I've got three kids. I've got a 6-year-old, a almost 4-year-old and almost 2-year-old, two girls and a boy. And Parker's got two boys who are five and.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:and two. mm-Hmm.
Track 1:Yes. Kind of right. And so like, you know, we can pontificate about how awesome we are as parents, you know, and or just like with our wealth of knowledge. And then like, it's funny when I
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:my goodness.
Track 1:yeah, it's funny'cause when I go, you know, and I always interact with, uh, people at my church who are uh, you know, have high school kids or kids who have just graduated college or you know, even slightly older kids who are like our age. And like, they're just, you know, they're just like, listen to me with my problems. And they're like, man, I, I miss those days when they, when the problems were like, what? Like, my daughter won't eat or like, I'm having trouble getting them to sleep. Like those were much simpler problems. And so we just thought why fake it? And uh, or just sit here and you know, give our 2 cents. Maybe people would like to hear from you guys who have much more. Uh, expertise and experience with, uh, raising a godly family. So, um, I guess my first question is, you know, when you first, I guess big picture, when you first like had kids and you thought, okay, God's called me to be a godly man and I need to be the head of my household. Like, what did that mean to you and sort of how did you prepare for raising a godly family? And I guess the second part is like, how has that changed, um, the older your kids have gotten?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Well, you, you think for a second you go for it. But let me give the ultimate disclaimer that I think is Jake just gave his disclaimer. Um, and you know how when sometimes you read when Paul writes that, Hey, I'm the chief of sinners, and you're like, yeah, but he didn't really mean that right, But I think the older I get, I think he absolutely meant it. Um, heartily and I think every day I think I echo greater every day more and more and more. Man, I am the chief of sinners and I really mean it like I really mean it because I really think the more you mature in the Lord and walk with the Lord, the more you see How much of a sinner you are saved by grace and your need for Jesus. And so I'd say all that to say thank you. This is a great opportunity. Uh, we've made more mistakes and that's how we have learned probably more. So, I don't know, that's my disclamer, but you can I agree right there with you. You wanna go first? Sure. I, I'll jump in. So, I, I, for me, I, I wasn't raised in a Christian family and so I, I, I had to watch, uh, believing families and ask a lot of questions. And so I, we, we got around families as much as we could, who were their, their children exemplified what we wanted our children to be one day. And then we just asked them literally with a notebook, we had a million questions, you know, I. What books are you reading? What books have influenced you? Tell us about training. Tell us about discipline. Tell us about falling off on legalism or license. Um, what do you do in this situation? What do you do in that situation? And man, we, we did that and we had four or five families that just poured into us. And, and I think that takes humility. Just you, you, you just have to say, I, I don't, you know, I, there's some things that my parents did, which are great and I wanna learn from, but, um, I really want to train my children in godliness in the gospel. You know, we always talk about we want to gospel eyes our children, and I didn't know how to gospel wise, and it's easy to fall back into the rutt of what you were raised with, what you saw in your home. Uh, which, you know, a lot of it was good, but so, so for me that that's where it started. Uh, a lot of reading, a lot of time with godly families and then even, you know, I think one of the measuring marks for church that you want to go to is. Let me see. The kids that are coming out of that church the kids that are going to university or going to a trade or whatever and are walking with Jesus and thriving. And so we tried to be in those type churches and involved with those type families. And man, we, we just learned a ton. I just, yeah. And that was both in New Zealand and in America, but you know, very different parenting styles in both places. We just learned so, so much.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah, I, I would agree with all that. So you were saying Mm-Hmm, you were like intentionally trying to find, hey, where are the fa who the families I can learn from, which you're much smarter than I was because I think we were just kind of put in a situation when Lindsay and I were married, uh, real young, I was still in college actually. And so, um, in fact in the time it took me to get one degree, my wife got two degrees So that tells you. Uh, who's smarter sitting on this couch, probably. Um, but anyway, the point is Lindsay and I went overseas and I remember, you know, just kinda looking up one day and going, Hey, the people we're around, just so happened to our team that we were a part of. They were godly, married, uh, couples with children, some of them. And, you know, this was our missionary team.
Track 1:Mm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:So in other words, we're the, we're the minority in this massive city in Central Asia. So I spend a lot of time with these families and a lot of time with these families and their children. And so I was forced to be in a position for a year or so just watching these people raise their children. And it was very different than the way that I was raised. And again, rusty makes some good points. I have a lot of great things that my mom and dad modeled, uh mm-Hmm. In front of me, but some of no parent's. Perfect. So to, to see these type types of things as a young believer in the context of being overseas was especially valuable and probably needed for me. Mm-Hmm. So both of us have that in common. I guess young season of life, being married, having kids, or thinking about having kids and trying to be around others who are a little bit more in front of us. Lived a little bit longer. Yeah. A little bit ahead of us in their season of life and trying to learn from them.
Track 1:Yeah,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Let me throw, lemme throw out one more story real
Track 1:go for it.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:So I, I was studying in Chicago and I was going to this, uh, church. There's a guy named Bob Smart, who's been a long-term mentor of mine. And I went to his church. I drove from Chicago down to his church and you know, it was very unassuming church and I. I'd never seen anything like it. And at that time, I'd been a believer for about four years. And I just walked in there and it was real simple worship, you know, no, no smoke machine, nobody up there screaming with an electric guitar. Just real simple. And then he got up to preach and literally, I can still remember he preached on Genesis 50, but what blew me away was all these kids sitting around me, 13 year olds, 15 year olds, and they were taking notes on everything that he was saying. And I had never seen anything like that. And then my wheels just began to turn like, how do you raise kids like this us?
Track 1:That's really interesting. So how old were your kids when you started introducing to them? Jesus. Now let me caveat that, like obviously you didn't like just say we're gonna hide Jesus from your children until they're ex, you know, a certain age. But like at what point did you really say, you know what? Like my son or daughter's old enough, I'm gonna make it a point to explain to them maybe why we go to church or why we do this. Why do mommy and daddy believe this?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah. You want me to start that one? So this one, I, this I, I actually love this one. Um, come from a context where often if you were going to talk about something very important, like Jesus, it was like, okay, we're gonna have a talk, me and you about Jesus now. Okay. And like, and that's how it was sort of, you know, it was like you have to announce it and like make a thing. And so I remember like Lindsay and I, we, because of our exposure to these other couples. It was just it man. It was, it was in everything. Yeah. It was in going ice skating. It was in the dinner table. It was at throwing ball. It was at bedtime. It was at when they got a spanking. I mean, I just saw'em all the time just talking about Jesus. It was like, and it wasn't weird. It was just they saw normal patterns to talk about their faith and the gospel and the Bible and scripture and Jesus and almost every little element. And so that's one thing that we wanted to adopt. Mm-Hmm. We wanted to try to have a home where we kind of used that Deuteronomy passage where, you know, when you walk by the road
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Mm-Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:you lay down, uh, and basically, you know, in every situa in normal life, you know, we wanted to have a lifestyle where our, our children just knew, hey. We are about the kingdom and we are about Jesus. So we don't have to necessarily switch gears go have a Jesus talk. Mm-Hmm.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Right, right.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:is a, a Jesus is interwoven into us playing the guitar or you know, they got smothered in a basketball game and my son is devastated. Jesus is in that. Mm-Hmm. Or maybe they won an award and they want to beat their chest. We, you know, Jesus. Is that con Jesus is in every conversation. Mm-Hmm.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:dunno if that makes sense.
Track 1:no, that makes
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:totally.
Track 1:Yeah. I, I think, uh, so just in case you've for, maybe not forgotten, but it's pretty relevant with me. My, you know, my daughter is six and like in kindergarten, she started asking questions, you know, like, you just basic what I would consider basic, like introductory to faith questions. Like why, like, why do we believe this? Or, you know, why is, why is Jesus mad about this? You know? And I was like, oh man. Like that's really cool opportunity to like start seizing those. Um, but yeah, we, we made that Ella and I, my wife, my wife's name is Ella, like Alabama. Um, which is, it's cool, but it's unfortunate.'cause some people, everybody who doesn't know her is like, is it Awa? And we're like, Nope, that's not it.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:No, No, it's not
Track 1:it. Go with your, go with your gut. Go with your gut and, and just lean into it. But, uh, yeah, we, you know, we were. I, I was somewhat raising this, a similar style home, Steven, where it was like, you know, every, every talk I had with my parents was like intentional, like sat down and we had some sort of talk about whatever it was. Um, but you know, my wife and I were talking about like, we just wanted it, like you were saying, like we want our faith to be evident to our children, to where it's not like a, a weird thing or only on Sundays we'll talk about Jesus then, you know? Um, so I think that's really cool. Um, Parker, you got
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:I have a question. Yeah. So, um, when you guys were raising your children, uh, especially when they were young, very, you know, impersonable, they're, they're following everything you do. Um, how did you incorporate, like you, you said you did in conversations, so like how did you as a family, uh, like read scripture together? Um, how did you do like, worship together? Like how did you do all that? Like, tangibly, um, you know, especially at our age, like our, the kids were, our kids are five and two and six or whatever. Um, you know, we're trying to incorporate as much as we can in everything we do. So how did you guys do that when you were, um, having children around our age?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah, that was a great answer earlier. Um, I, I think you have to make those things come alive, you know, like, you're not gonna put your kids on the pew and say, okay, sit down, daddy's gonna read you Leviticus 18 Get ready, kids. You know, and so you you know, you really, you really have to make those. Don't move, be quiet, You, you really have to make those things come alive. And so what, you know, we, it's part of the rhythm of your life. And so for us, um, and again, we'd like to talk about gospel izing. And, and so for us, um, you know, at the dinner table, and it wasn't a hard, fast rule. We didn't, you know, we didn't have devotionals every night, but our goal was to, and, and it was always different. I, I mixed it up and some nights we acted it out. We would read a story, you know, and I don't know, it was like the neither nor judge and Luke 18 or something. And we'd read the story and you'd be like, all right, who wants to be the neither nor judge, you know? And my oldest would be like, okay, I'll be here. What do I say? And you, you know, you okay? These are your lines. And, and we'd just try to make it so much fun.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:And, and so we're, we're bringing, you know, we have a living hope and a living savior, and we're trying to bring life to the, to the scriptures, not just, you know, Leviticus 18, sit there and be still. And so we do that. And then of course, you, you give them bite-sized chunks, don't
Track 1:Mm-Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Um, and then another thing that, that we did is, you know, we, we, being Presbyterian, we love catechisms for kids. You know, that's kind of our Scottish tradition is, and it's just theology is all that means. It's, it's taking biblical truths. Who is God? What is sin? Who are our first parents? All those kind of things. We had something, we had a cd. I don't know if you guys had this, where it was put to music with all the scripture.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hmm,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:we would literally sing that. And I won't sing it now, but, um, I'm so glad that he's not gonna sing it now.
Track 1:Some.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:you don't want me to do that, but Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But you know, like if we're going down the road, we would sing it and like my kids loved it, like, who
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:parents? And, and so you're teaching'em theology and you're, you're putting, you're kind of, you're building the skeleton of their understanding of scripture, if you will. And, you know, and so we, we would do that. And we're just always looking for ways to make the word come alive. Not just, okay, sit down, be still, lemme give you 15 minutes. Does, does that make
Track 1:Yeah, no, absolutely.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yes. I, uh, we actually, when you talk about singing scripture, there's this, uh, thing called seeds, family worship now, and it's like kids, Uh. It's kids' music, but it, they only read, they only sing scripture. Like they don't come up with anything. Uh, they just come up with the music and they sing scripture. And my children love it. Like my 2-year-old, he's not even two, he is turned two in like a couple, I guess a couple weeks. But he's all, he's already, you know, kinda wording it out. He can't even speak, you know, full sentences yet. But he, like, we listened to it, we ride in the car and, and they just know when they get in daddy's car, get mommy's car, we're gonna listen to see his family worship. And that's how, like, we, we did that with Beckham when he was, you know, growing up and, um, you know, where he's around, one or two and we just saw, like, it just was implanted in his brain and it's so easy with music, with kids, like, uh, so that's awesome. I love that. Um, so how, now that you, uh, men have, um. Older children like Steven, I know you have now one in college, um, and two still in high school. Uh, I know from my relationship with you guys that, um, seeing your relationship with your children, it's uh, it's like a very good balance. It's a balance between like trust, but also like I'm your father, um, and I'm your, I'm your parent. Um, how would you say that you guys created that type of relationship where your children trust you to come with you, come to you with like really, uh, you know, maybe tough questions or, um, about their spiritual life or whatever. Um, but also they know like, Hey, I'm your, I'm your father and I'm your parent, and you're supposed to, you know, follow and listen and obey to what I'm telling you. So how'd you build that relationship to where that's, that was created now I.
Track 1:Leviticus 18. Right. Just kidding.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:it. Yeah, that was, I was gonna say the pews right over there. Yeah. Right. You can still see the scratch marks from their hands. Yeah. Um, all right. So I think, um, probably Lindsay, who is my wife, Parker's cousin, she probably has more to do with this than I do. I think. Um, lemme see if I can explain what I mean by that is, um, when you have a two-year-old and your two-year-old builds, um, I don't know, a little drawing a sketch or just writes some doodle and comes up and says You know, look at this or whatever. Um, and then when they get three and four and they put the Lego thing together and they come and show you, and then when they're, you know, six and they do something else, you know, they, they want to show you everything, right? Everything. And sometimes it's cute and then sometimes you're like, dude, I am busy, you know, right now. Like, I don't want to see your thing that you've done right. It's bothering me, please. I don't want to see it. Uh, that's how I have responded that way often. And I catch myself, uh, because I think from when they're young, the more that I can, and I'm not saying you have to do this every single time, but the more they know that parent mom or parent dad is interested in me, I have something I want to show them. And, you know, they're, they're wee little people. They don't know anything yet, but all they know is they have this thing and they want to come show it to you. And if they realize that you're like, I want, I'm interested in what you have to show me,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:know, then I think that registers with them and it like little building blocks and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger to one day they're 16 and now they come home and say, Hey, I've got something, you know, real big I want to share with you. And if you, if they don't, if you haven't built that foundation and that system, not system, but that expectation of them, that dad and mom is someone who listens to me when I have something I want to bring to them, then they won't bring it to you. Mm-Hmm. you know, and so I've probably done a poor job of that. Um, or at least I've not done as good as my wife has and she has historically been the chief. You know, I want to see what you have to share. And so now. Man, they come in and I'm, I'm there as well. Mm-Hmm. and I'm, they will share things with me, but I think they probably do that more so with their mom. Mm-Hmm. because she has been the one chiefly who has always been interested in what they have to show, you know? So I just say all that as a bit of a warning. I'm kind of looking back with regrets going, man, I think my children at 18 and 16 and 14 might have more things to show me or to tell me, um, if I would've done a better job when they were younger at, you know,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Mm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:or seeing the, the prizes they came to show dad. Mm-Hmm. If that
Track 1:Mm-Hmm.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Yeah. I, I think that's, that's fantastic. I, and, and I, let me just add a little bit to that, um, or a few more thoughts on that. Is one, one thing that I, I think my wife did really well, very similar to Lindsay, is in the evenings we put our kids to bed. We would lay down with them and we'd switch back and forth. We have three children and we would talk, and a lot of times, this might sound crazy, I would sing stories of the scripture to'em and I'd just make it up as I go. And, and we would just, and it wasn't pretty Steven, was it a rap song or was it was, what is that Okay. If it was, that's good. Okay. And, um, Mm-Hmm. And so, and you know, we would just talk to'em. What we found is like there was something wonderful that happened. Lying there for 15, 20 minutes, they'd wanna talk about deep truths, even at like five years old. And like that, that's when I actually think two of my children became believers lying in bed with us at, you know, eight 30. And we would just talk about the day and tell stories and, okay, so that investment, so in those seeds. To this day when we go to bed, and you and I talk about this a lot, our kids will come down and they'll just sit and they'll just talk. Another thing that that we do, that we learned from my friend Bob Smart, is my wife's really good about this, is before they go to bed, she'll bless them. She'll lay her hands on them and, and say one of the blessings in scripture over them, and they'll still ask for that. Would you, would you bless me before we go to bed? Or they'll come and just, um, especially if they have a big test or something and they'll just sit like, just like Steven said, and they'll just sit in our room and they'll just wanna talk about the day and their experiences. And it's, and all that started when they were li little kind of like he was talking about with Lindsay.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Hmm. That's good stuff.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Jake and Parker, both of you guys, you have two, both of you have two kids each. Is that right?
Track 1:I've got three.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Three. And you know, you're, uh, Parker, I know you're super busy. You got all kinds of things with school and other things that you're part of and co-curricular, extracurricular events that you're doing. Jake, as an accountant, I'm sure, especially in that, you know, front part of the year leading up to April Mm-Hmm. you're probably slammed. Um, I, I also think another thing I would ask y'all is do you feel like you have a lot of time to spend with your children? Mm-Hmm. I'd love to hear what your thoughts are.
Track 1:I'll go first, Parker. Um, I used to make that excuse so I don't travel or, and do all that for work anymore. So I used to be in public accounting where it was like January to April 30th and I was an auditor, so that April 30th was our typical deadline. But yeah, I travel six, seven weeks during that, those first four months of the year, and that was tough. Then we had, uh, our oldest daughter, Annie, and we had Mary France, and once we had her I was like, I'm quitting. And then Covid happened and I was like, awesome. Quit. Like, I quit the week March Madness, uh, got canceled and I was like, well see what happens. Anyway, it all worked out, but I, so I'll work a much more routine schedule now. Um, but now I, I would say I have the ability to make more excuses for saying I don't have time to do this or that. Um, when in reality I do. I just, I, you know, uh, uh. Did not invent this phrase by any means, but I believe that you spend time on the things you care about, right? Like you're, you're gonna invest a lot of time in your, the things that are you treasure the most in your heart. Um, so we try as a family, me and Ally, we try to, you know, from the time the kids are here or from the time I get home at work, uh, to the time they go to bed around eight, we try to spend time doing something productive with them and not just zoning out on our phones or letting them just mindlessly watch a lot of tv. That does happen, um, because we aren't perfect parents, but we make sure we try to spend as much time as we can with them. Um, so.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah. Um, I think that can be a, you know, a really big excuse, you know, um, for really anything. Um, I, Steven, you know this, but I, I quit coaching baseball. I coach baseball for six years and I was coaching freshman JV and varsity, uh, before we started having Beckham. Uh, and then after Beckham was born, I. Uh, I guess he was around, he was three. Um, when I decided to quit coaching baseball. And the main reason was, was because I was spending so much time at the baseball field. And don't get me wrong, God used that. Like, I have relationships right now with, with guys that have graduated. I'm actually gonna get to, uh, do a wedding ceremony for one of my former players and his girl, his fiance. So like godly, godly, uh, relationships with these guys, um, that I wouldn't have. I didn't coach baseball, but I realized very quickly, like I am, I'm sacrificing my family for baseball. Um, so gave that up because I was like, yeah, this isn't working anymore. Um, but even then, like after giving up baseball, I have way more time. I'm still coach, but you know, I. Uh, I just, you know, this, this year I guess Beckham started playing basketball and it's like, and he is only playing, he's playing upper basketball at Presbyterian Church. Um, or Methodist Church, excuse me. Um, but it just feels like there's always something going on whether we have church on Wednesday night or church on Sunday or basketball or you know, we're doing something. And by the time I get home I'm like, oh gosh, I'm like exhausted. I'm so tired. Um, but those are the moments that Kayla and I have really like, tried really hard to like, really hone in on the times when we're together as a family to have like, like kinda like Jake was saying, like have quality time as a family. We're having conversations. We don't have a TV on, we don't have our phones near us. Um, and we're just sitting down, like, I sent Steven a picture of me and Beckham playing blocks earlier before this. Um, just trying to do stuff like that.'cause Steven kind of told me that story this past Thanksgiving about how he wishes he could, you know, Be real intentional with, you know, the little things they wanna show us. And so I've tried to incorporate that. Um, good, good wisdom there. So Yeah. that's a great question.
Track 1:I wanna add, I wanna add one more random thing. So, I, I, I, I hope, I hope I don't get fired for saying this. I will occasionally get home from work at like 5:00 PM which means I leave work at four 15 to four 30.'cause it takes me like 20, 30 minutes to get home sometimes. So I'm like. I'm like, if I'm gonna just be at the, and I'll like try to work through lunch or just not leave, just be available, you know?'cause people work whatever lunch hours anyway, so I can like leave at 4 15, 4 30 so I can get home like at five and like have at least a three solid hours to spend with my family. And so I saw a thing on Instagram or Facebook or something, so, you know, it's like a hundred percent truth. But it was talking about how like, uh, dads, dads who are millennials are much statistically much more likely to want to spend more time with their kids than I guess dad's of our parents' generation, which would've been, I, I guess my dad graduated. Uh, he's not a, a boomer, right? Yeah. He'd be a boomer. So I just thought that was interesting. I have no idea if there's any truth to that. Um, but thought it was worth noting.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:That is interesting. And I, I think that's probably, I mean, I would, I would assume that, uh, cultural shift and makes, makes sense. Mm-Hmm.,although I will say this, um, that I tend to think, and Rusty does a good job of this, if we have a, a young couple joining our church, when, when they join our church, one of the things that happens is they, they come up front and they, they take vows basically. And then the congregation also, uh, promises, if you will, to do some things for them as well. So there's almost a, a dialogue of, we are promising this as your community. And the parents say, we promised this. And, and all of it is centered around, you know, uh, in this context at least we're gonna gospel eyes our children or teach them about the gospel. And so. One of the things that he Rusty does real good is he says, uh, he reads one of these sentences and he says, that doesn't mean that you're here every time the door is open, uh, every time the church's doors are open, because I think we can Mm-Hmm. live in a culture where, uh, more being present at more things
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Mm-Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:is somehow seen as more valuable. Especially if it's like something to do with the church. You know, like, I can be this Bible study and this Bible study and there's an extra Bible study on, and listen, we all want to, you know, walk with the Lord and grow in our knowledge of him. But, um, you know, there are seasons too in your life. And I remember we had a season where, uh, we just said, Hey, look, we'll, we need to take a break from a lot of different things. Mm-Hmm. So we said no, um, to a lot of things that on the outside appearance where you would be like, what? Why would you say no to that? That's a good thing. Yeah, it probably is. But we just needed, we needed a little bit of, we're, we're going at about 110% here, and we're just very loose with our
Track 1:Mm-Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:with our thing, our priorities. We're trying to get done. Our, we feel like we're not really connecting with each other, husband, wife, not really connecting with our kids. We're just scattered. So we just had to say no to some things. Mm-Hmm. And that season's passed, but everybody goes through that. So I would just say that one thing that we also try to share with our younger couples is it's okay to say no, um, to all the events that y'all are asked to do. You know, all the things that y'all are asked to do with supper club, this thing, all that. There are a lot of good things, but you can say no to some things too, if you wanna spend time
Track 1:Yeah. You're, yeah. Go ahead Rusty. You like you wanted to say something?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Well, I was just gonna say, yeah, there's a, I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Francis and Edit Schafer and they, they had this ministry in Europe or. Just heaps of people were coming and in the, uh, sixties and seventies. But anyway, Edith would say, uh, about their family'cause they raised their family and basically in full-time ministry that, uh, doors have hinges and locks and you know, we talk about that a lot. That in, in your life, there are those season which where your doors need to be open. You need to be practicing hospitality, you need to be having people into your home. You need to be engaging people. But there are also those seasons when you're like, Steven was just talking about when your doors need to be locked, you know? And honestly, I find that my wife has a better gauge of when those seasons are, you know, the, the temperature of our family. And, and sometimes you see families fall off on both sides. You'll see the families of doors are, they're just blowing and going razor thin margins, 90 to nothing. Just their picture of unhealth, everything they're doing for Jesus. But man, they're pulling their kids like a ski boat down the lake. Their kids are just hanging on for dear life,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yep.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:then their kids become 19. They want no part of the church. And then you see those other families and their doors are just always locked. Their home is, their pine straw is never quite fresh enough to have anybody over if that means anything to you.
Track 1:Oh,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:boys. Mm-Hmm. And,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Oh yeah.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:yeah. You know, everything's gotta be per, yeah, everything's gotta be perfect to have anybody over. And so nothing's ever perfect. So you never have anybody over your door. Your doors are locked, you know? And because your life's not perfect. Nobody, nobody engages with you. And so the, but there's a fine balance, just like Steven was saying, in those seasons, when your house is your, your home, your life is open. And those seasons when it's just your family.
Track 1:that's an incredible analogy. Um. Y'all were talking about that and you know, saying yes and no to things. Like, I, I think, how do you gauge, say, or I shouldn't say gauge, how, how difficult was it to say no to things that are good but may not necessarily be related to the church hypothetical? Um, this would never happen, but hypothetically say that, you know, every kid's baseball team plays on Sundays in, in Jefferson County, and they play like double and triple headers. Like I, I went to a, I went to a birthday
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah, that would never happen.
Track 1:That would never happen. I went, I went to a birthday party with my daughter and I, it was just me.'cause Ally had to be somewhere else with our other two kids. So I just took our oldest daughter and I was just talking to one of the dads there, and he was like, yeah, we got a triple header today. I was like, I was like, how old's your kid? He's like, my kid's six. And I was like, I was like, do you play a lot of baseball growing up? And he goes, nah, not really. And I thought to myself, it shows, uh, because
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yeah.
Track 1:I would never, after, after
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Heck no.
Track 1:as much baseball as I did, I'm never gonna make
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Hey, if that guy's listening, we're so sorry, man. I'm so sorry about that. If you're listening to the podcast
Track 1:he needs to know, you know, who you are. Uh, so how the, I guess the, the, the question is, you know, like those things aren't, no, those aren't like sinful, right? Playing baseball isn't inherently sinful and it's not also inherently Jesus centered either. So like how do you, how do you look different? From the world, when the world and even other Christians, you know, want to engage in these kind of things and like can just, I won't, I'll just stop there. How does that look for you?
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:you can answer. Uh, but I wanted to start with saying two things. I got a warning saying that my phone is on like 15%. So, um, I don't know what that means. Time-wise, it may burn out.
Track 1:We, we.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:second thing is also I am taller than Rusty in real life, and I just wanna make that clear for the record because here it looks like I'm much shorter and it's never bothered me before, but I'm like, dang it.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Looks like, that couch is eating you a little bit. Steven.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:now. I know we're, we're in my home. And so I'm, I'm slouched down on my couch and Rusty's a guest, so he's sitting up on property. Nice. I gave you the choice of seeds. I know. Anyway, sorry. I think it was, I just wanted to mention those two things. Okay. So I'd like to hear your thoughts, but, um, all things are, like Paul says, all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. And I, I think that's, that's really, really important. There, there is a, what I find even a lot of parents is this, this idea that if we don't do X, Y, and Z, we're gonna miss out. And so my son, he's gonna fall behind in soccer or whatever it is, piano, my daughter, you know, whatever it might be. There's this great fear that somehow is in the American psyche that, man, if we don't do this, you know, we're gonna miss out. And, and, um, man, that, that is just a lie from hell. And, and so, so first I think you have to have a couple things that you, you're living out your faith in front of your kids. And, and one of those is how you view the Sabbath. And, you know, there are those seasons, we talk about this a lot, that your ox is in the ditch. All right, well, you know, you've got a one big tournament a year or maybe two big tournaments a year, and your team plays on Sunday. Okay, well that, that's one thing. But there needs to be a regular pattern that we are committed. God is, God has called us as believers to rest. That's his love to you, to rest and worship the two things that we need so dearly on a Sunday, and you know that it's his great blessing to our lives. I think first and foremost, our kids need to see us taking advantage of the Sabbath and saying no to all the coaches that say, well, you know, hey, if you don't play, then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, or, or whatever it might, whatever the kind of fear tactic is. And our kids need to see us actually living out our faith and it's actually loving them, you know, in, in the same way their laws and Old Testament that prevent farmers and employers from making their employees work on the Sabbath. But in some ways, that's what we do with our kids, with sports. You know, we, God calls you to rest, but not you little Johnny. You get out there and go get that triple header, you know, and, and you're basically making little Johnny work on the Sabbath. Yeah, he's got three games all day and then he is exhausted the rest of the week. And so, so I think that's, there's a real simple place to start, right there is, man, I really want to take hold of the blessings of the Sabbath and let my children see that, you know? So I got the 10 minute warning on my phone, but I'll add this, uh, rusting are connected to a school. It's a Christian school, it's a classical Christian school. And, um, it's in, it's in town here. And, um, I was working with some of the, um, leaders of the school, um, one time with a, a bunch of different focus groups of parents. And one of the exercises we did was we asked all these parent groups who came. Uh, and some of these parent groups were like second grade, fifth grade, sixth grade, and I think that's it. We didn't have any that were seventh grade and up. So these are young, you know, young families, and we asked them, Hey, I want you to just close your eyes and kind of envision, you know, little Susie at 18 in her cap and gown walking across that stage to get her diploma and graduate. I know it's hard right now. You're maybe you're, you know, just finished putting on diapers and you think, man, that's forever. But just try with me, close your eyes and think about your, your, your child. In this case like a Beckham, like imagine Beckham at 18 in a cap and gown, walking across the stage and like in that moment, what are you, like, name three things right now. We'd asked these focus groups. Name three things that you want your son or daughter to possess at that time of graduating. And it was things like, man, I want'em to know who they are. Or, you know, I want them to really know how to defend their faith, or I want them to be sure of what the gospel is, or I want them to know how to have healthy relationships with people or whatever else. And, uh, and, and, I think if you fast forward oftentimes, so that's your dream, that's your hope for your, for your child when you're that age. Um, and then what happens is sometimes some of these, uh, those, those years go by and you may have some junior or senior parents and you ask them, uh, that same question and, but their, what their life is showing you, the pattern that's in front is man, they are super fixated on like, what is my a CT score so that I can get it? And that's important, that's a good thing. Um, but man, it's like. Or like, how much is he putting in the work? You know, we both have the same coach's voice, by the way. Yeah. Um, like we have, how much is same coach, how much is he putting in the work? You know, how much is he getting in on Sunday afternoon or whatever? And like all those things, some of them are not necessarily bad, but do you remember when you had that dream for your son or daughter of what would their life look like? What are the things that are instilled in their heart? And probably when you're dreaming for your kid, you probably didn't, you probably dreamed more of them having, you know, they're welcome with the Lord, they love people. Um, they know who they are, those kinds of things versus. I want'em on a championship, state champion baseball team,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Mm-Hmm.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:want'em on a Mm-Hmm. uh, you know, I want'em to be, uh, ACEing that a CT so they can get a full scholarship. I mean, those are, there's nothing wrong with that. Man. I hope my, my kids get scholarships and I hope they have success on a baseball field or whatever, but that's not my, those are not the most important things. Mm-Hmm. you know? And so I think just trying to keep that balance is really, really important. Mm-Hmm.
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:It's crazy too, like, uh, Russ, you kind of mentioned this a minute ago, but that is a straight lie from Satan. Like, it is, it is straight from him that like, oh, at five years old, I gotta go outside right now and we gotta work. Like, we gotta get better. Like, and it, I'll, I'll confess it, it, has been a temptation for me'cause I was around sports, I'm around sports right now, coaching. Like, I want my, I mean, I want my son to be the best basketball player right now, so we gotta go out and work. Well, to be honest with y'all, Beckham's made like one out of like 30 shots. Uh, but he's five years old. And so, like, my, my, tendency, my sinful tendency is to be like, man, I want him to be the best basketball player, best baseball player. I want him to go play in the, you know, the league or whatever. And I have to like the, the Holy Spirit, like really Like not me in the face yesterday and say, what are you thinking, man? Like, do you want your child? Do you really care more about your child being a super athlete, or do you care about him following me and knowing who I am? And I'm like, dang, like, you're right. I'm just having this thought this, like, this is sinful, selfish thought that I want my children to be this super athlete. Um, but in reality, like when I die and, and face the Lord, like he's not gonna ask me, how many drills do you do with your son? Like, what? I mean, how'd you make him a better baseball player in basketball? He's gonna say, what did you do with my, with my child? Like, what, what'd you teach him about me? And so like, that's, you know, when you said that, I was like, man, that's just like, God just working. It's working in miraculous ways. So good stuff there.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:I, I think that's exactly right. And, uh, one thing I would say to young parents, the most important thing that you can do to your son or daughter is speak gospel identity over their life. the way we did that was at night before they would go to bed. We would tell them who they are in Christ and What's that? Gimme, gimme an example. Yeah. So we would say our, our oldest, you know, we'd say, um, you're a man. And that's no mistake. God has made you a man and there's something glorious about being a man and you're gonna glorify God in wonderful ways and he's gonna use your work. And in Christ you are justified. It means you're, you are right, you're righteous, you're clean, you're sanctified, means you're pure and you are God's son. You are adopted. And you know, and we come at it from different angles, but we're, you're always telling them who they are speaking because the world, if you don't do that. The world's gonna give them an identity and it's gonna be, Hey, I'm Liam, the great basketball player. Or I'm Susie with the big nose. Or I'm Janice with the real cute, you know, I like to wear short shorts'cause I'm so cute and boys look at me. And so, you know, fathers in particular have got to, from the very young age, speak gospel identity over their children.'cause if you don't, the world's gonna give'em a message and they're gonna take it in. And so what's most important in my mind is fathers tell your children who they are in Christ from the youngest of age.
Track 1:Oh, that is an incredible place to leave off. And that was actually the last question I was gonna ask is like, what's the one thing you would just sort of like, uh, drive home? Um, I apologize because there are a thousand other things we could have talked about. Not, maybe not. Apologize, apologize. We couldn't get to all of'em. But that's just how life is. You just can't. Um, but I appreciate your guys' time tonight, rusty, and, and Steve and, and
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yep. thank you, man.
Track 1:so much, um, for taking the time just to share with us your infinite wisdom. Um,
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:thank you for letting us come in and, and share some stories with you. It's been a, it's been fun. Thank you
Track 1:Yeah,
parker-sanders_1_12-05-2023_200651:Yep.
Track 1:Well, we will, uh, see you guys next time.
steven-salter_1_12-05-2023_200649:Alright. Look forward to it. Thanks guys. Thank you.
